He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
