i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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