Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
