Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
