I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize