Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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