I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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