So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
