So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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