Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
