He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
