I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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