She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
she looked like the before picture.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
