Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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