Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
