why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
