oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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