So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
