Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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