You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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