Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
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