she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
