We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
