you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
