and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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