You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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