she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
