craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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