At least make sure they are 18
Why
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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