Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I wear drunk well.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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