I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Randomize
