I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Randomize
