Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
