I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
