she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
