If i come over, it means nothing
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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