Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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