is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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