I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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