Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
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