She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
