My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
