she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Acid is not a monday night drug
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
