Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
