if i can run in heels then i can drive
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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