Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
