Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
my being single is dangerous.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
