when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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