What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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