Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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