Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
