But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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