Can i not drive my cunt home
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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