Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
