just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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