Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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