yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
