he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
