Nicole vs. Life
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I deserve this hangover.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
