Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
